give me my hums. i love ryan.
what i’d save in a fire: bike, ryan, rory, songs of love and hate, that one love letter about beer and empanadas, harlem jazz, pine pillow, and…maybe something stupid like my toothbrush or the only condom i own stashed between the boards of my nightstand.
i’d probably die trying to save the unlubed rubber, saying beneath teeth ‘i knew it. it knew it! why pretend? high brow low life.’
and that would be my mantra as skin sizzled and brows sizzled and i screamed in a mousy way like the time jesse, alex, and i almost died on the freeway and i thought of closets, yellow houses, od’ing, old pages, street walking, i would if you would’s, fingers up there, one songers, old longers, zelaya, smashing windows of uppety houses two homes down, ‘i only hear the good ones after the fact,’ honors english, seroquil, morning dancers, muck muckers, peace corps, ‘i never knew you had it in you to be so cruel’, love of my life but not my lover, mangos, cold showers, ‘love is when you fight sometimes and it hurts,’ children, mexicans, faking o’s, and being a light.
